Lets start with scars that are not visible to the human eye and not because they are not on plain sight but because if your like me i use to cut myself in places that i would easily cover by my clothing or just the fact that some scars are emotionally or mentally. We have scars from when learning to ride our bike as children or not listening to our parents when they would scream at us to stop playing around before someone gets hurt, but many hide the cuts that have been self inflictated because the pain was to much to contain and needed to actually pyshically feel the hurt that was killing inside of us or at least thats part of the reason i would do it. Cutting myself felt like a release from everything that was bursting in the inside. I started doing this when i was 19 years old and told my mother ( who had vanish from my life for 7 year btw) that i was molested by my father as a child, also by the men she claimed to be the love of her life and raped all before 12, her answer "yeah i figured your father would do something like that because he raped me and that is how you kids where born and stop crying jacqueline its the past", Shocked YES !!!!. With that disgusting reaction of my mother i realized i never had any luck of having a regular childhood and i was screwed just the fact of the people who brough me into this world.
I would do it on my arm the upper part where you can wear a t-shirt and its easily to hide so mom would not ask questions but then again being the parent she was, probably never would have noticied anyway. After that everytime i was extremely upset or felt rage going thru my veins i could not feel release until i made that cut, i progress to using office pins and just stabbing my fingers until i could not take the pain anymore but once it went away i would get in again and again. This is just the physical scars so you can imagine the emotional and mental scars i Will have for the rest of my life. Yes as in present. I found this as a way to deal with any major or big bad things that continue to fill my life and unfortunely it is still an urge much needed to control. I go to therapy which helps so much; never let anyone tell you otherwise. But the emotional scars that have accompany thur out my whole life just seems unhealed for a lifetime. I cannot speak for other people who go thru this but as for me i will say, i do not want to hurt myself to a certain extent, most of the times it gets that far it hard to talk to people about it because always being the "scared victim" is hard to deal with and telling people this constant negative thoughts or just not knowing how to describe them feels like a bourden to the world around me.